I was never one to have much drama when it came to relationships. Probably because I haven't been in one for the past 4 years. Now I am having an issue with my current "relationship". My best friend was living with this girl just as "roomates" for a while at his place. Well, they kinda became a thing but not really according to him. I always considered them a couple either way. Anyway, here's the story.

I left to Kuwait for 4 months. During this time they had a few arguments and dilemas which eventually led to her moving out. I didn't know this utill I came back. So I was still good friends with both of them and visited each of them regularly even though they didn't get along or want to see eachother. I'd often go to her place to talk about what happened and stuff because he never really wanted to talk about it that much.

Anyway, as I went to see her more often, we started growing closer. I felt bad about this because my best friend had just gotten out of a situation with her and it didn't feel right. I evetually came out and told him what happened and he totally wasn't cool with it. Mostly for the fact that he feels she "screwed him over" by trying to get with me right after she was with him. So I stopped seeing her for a while.

But she stayed on my mind for 2 weeks straight. After 2 weeks she asked me to come over which I did... We pretty much continued where we left off because she felt the same way. I have been keeping it from my boy ever since, which is about a month. I feel terrible about this but I don't want to lose my best friend and I don't want to lose a girl that I care about. My problem is that I am getting out of the Marines in a few weeks and going back to NY. She is going to try and get stationed there for Recruiting but there is no guarantee that she will make it there. not only that but I don't even know what it's going to be like when I go back home with school and all. I definitelty am not one to try and maintain a long distance relationship.

So there it is... I know I am wrong for keeping it from my boy, but I don't want to lose him as a friend over a girl, but at the same time, I care about her a lot. Wtf do I do?

 

I'm going to quote the famous saying "Bros before hos.."
Thats just my view. I would never go after a girl if it meant losing or upsetting a good friend.

 

1. You were just talking and you liked her and told your friend.............you did nothing wrong and he has no right to get butt hurt

2. As your boy he should say "go for it man" and then is also obligated to mock you for hitting something he already has(see thread fatbooty started about a girl)

3. Tell your man to grow a pair, there are plenty of girls out there and if you really like her he should back you up.

 

normally I would agree, but sometimes you meet that girl that fits everything you are looking for in a girl, and that makes it alot harder to throw up the "bros before hoes" mantra.

 

ignore my post above, and please read and re-read Josh's over and over again.

 

But I already know he won't back me. I already know he's going to have the same reaction as the first time if not worse because I can rememeber telling him after we talked that I wouldn't see her anymore (which I didn't... for 2 weeks)

 

well did he tell you that he still had feelings for her, or that he wanted to try and mend the gap that has formed between them....if not, he needs to grow up and not be so posessive over past relationships and be happy that you and her are happy together.

 

Well, he did at first. Now I don't know if he's 100% over it yet or not. That's partially why I am so afraid to bring it up. I mean it has been over a month. I have a feeling that he's going to feel betrayed like he did the first time when that honestly was not my intention at all. I have no intentions, I just like this girl a lot.

 

I'd have to wonder why anyone would want to go out with a good friend's ex. There's obviously a reason they weren't compatible.

 

Yeah, I think that Josh's explanation gives you the best advice.

I have gone out with two girls my other friends have, and probably will make it 3 this coming weekend. All of them support in me in what I have done, even if they have feelings for them, because they know that they weren't compatible, and being my boys, they want to see me happy.