actually im in the north.

im just not that fond of the fact that marriage isnt taken seriously in this country. the divorce rate in this country is what? something like 50% or higher? either way marriage not what it used to be.

and the truth is that i should NOT have said that statement, because both men and women dont treat the institution as seriously as in years past.

 

Fair enough...hope I didn't sound too personal — I tend too after a few cocktials

 

It's all good, no harm done. If anything I realized that my choice of words could have been improved.

Divorce bothers me because no matter what, once you get married she can get half of your stuff if she chooses to leave you. I guess I see myself getting married in the future, and to see the effects of divorce irks me. I don't want to see my efforts spent busting my butt taken away from me like that.

 

not to add more salt to your wound....but "she gets half your stuff"?...you get half her stuff too....

Is a man literally...a better half? LOL...

ease up on the he vs she...your an intelligent person, but realize that we are all intelligent and equall LOL

*edit* but to your defense, I agree. marriage is sacred and is a holy sacrament. It's permanent and holy....and all that other non-sense. I'm not a religious individual. In fact, I'm a humanist and am very skeptical when approached with religion. However, I was raised catholic and understand the holy sacraments. If an individual is to be married, he and she should recognize the rationality and reasoning before getting married. It's not a bondage that can or should ever be broken.

I just wish people took the sacrament more seriously. If you are, in fact, holy....or, like in my case respectfull enough of the other that is that holy, take the proper precautions before getting married, or don't get married at all. I realize that married individuals get more rights from our government then those that aren't, but I don't believe that their justification lies under that ruling. If it ever did, I would be right up there...front and center arguing the legalities of federal tax exemptions that are allowed for married couples, segregating those that are not. It's bull shit IMO.

If I'm not married, I get taxed more? fuck that...f' the religiouse right...and fuck you Pat Robertson.

 

Well here is more common ground we agree on. Marriage should be forever and people should respect themselves, their partner, and their religion (if any) and not get divorced. Of course there is the extreme case where it is warranted but that should be rare. The fact 50% of marriages fail is a sad thing for this country.

But I would like to know what breaks being married has. Until the Republicans got rid of the marriage penalty you actually paid more taxes as a married couple than as a couple kiving together but not married. Outside of the tax credits for having a child my wife and I have no special privelages...and as far as I know that tax credit for kids is for anyone, married or not. if you know breaks I don't please share.

 

This is a minor detail but.... I get half her stuff? Well then maybe its not so bad after all. :P Well anyways I was under the belief that she gets half my crap plus child support/alimony. I could be wrong.

 

Statistically speaking, your right...unfortunetly. It shouldn't be that way, and in some cases it's not. But like I said, statistically, we men get the short end of the stick.

 

I was getting confused with property purchasing and some other related items....your right damn it

 

In todays world there are alot of precautions to take. Some people don't know their limits or don't understand how their actions can actually affect another person. Really it depends on one's attitudes - long term relationships may be started on attraction but they take hard work to maintain and grow. You have to be on the lookout if the people you are seeing are actually capable of putting the work in. It's a hard thing to gauge; everybody is different and everybody changes. I can't blame people for changing with time, but in a relationship I hold myself responsible for my actions and my attitude (my contribution) and I expect my partner to be similarly responsible.

I should probably mention that I'm East Indian, (i.e south asian, parents came from India....kinda ironic considering the earlier posts) and well I've noticed that I'm still influenced by the whole arranged marriage concept. Divorce is really frowned upon and not widely accepted by people of my parents generation. So when it comes to marriage I really have a no bullshit attitude, much like the rest of my family.

But with the changing times, I've come to accept that yes sometimes couples split because they don't manage their relationship. But I reason that if your intention is to have a family, it makes little sense to divorce. It reduces the wedding from a celebration to just a big dress up party. In my book that just doesn't add up.

So DuffMan, I like the attitude that you have towards marriage, and I think its the constructive one to have.:goodjob:

 

I agree...I came from a mother and father that have been together for over 30 years. This is the way that it should be. Both of my parents of Bachelors degrees from Marquette University, both of them worked while raising us, both of them dealt with my childhood BS, my sisters incredible intelligence that got her into Notre Dame, and the willingness to pay for a good portion of our post HS education...Norte Dame for my sis and a private Art college for me. They both worked very hard for this and held no pre-expectations other then offering the best they possibly could. I now understand that if I enter that kind of relationship, I know what to expect of myself and my wife.

I just hope that others realize what is involved with making such a commitment. It's not just a loving relationship...it's a partnership.