First mods
02-01-2003 | 10:07 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1
Likes: 0
From: Cheyenne Wy
First mods
Hello all. I'm new to the import seen. I just got a 2002 Ex Civic. I looking for some ideas on what to do first. Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks in advance for you suggestions.
02-02-2003 | 07:18 AM
#6
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 36
Likes: 0
From: My house
Ooh, first you should extend the axles so that your turning radius is compensated ten fold. Then, you need to put some honking-*ss muffler and resonator that protrudes past the lowest part on your car, hence dragging like a son-of-a-b*tch. Change out the rims you have with 23"-ers, and buy $300 tyres. They're worth every penny. Doesn't matter which style rims or the company. Okay, now lower it...to the ground. I mean, you want the tranny touching the ground, too.
Ready for some ground effects? Choose extremely gaudy ones that don't match anything on the car. It doesn't matter which ones; because, if you post pics of it here, almost everyone will bash it into the ground. No no, don't worry. They'll all put "IMO" so that you won't cry at your computer desk at work. Go ahead and cry when you get home. You'll come to the realization that no one loves you. Quite alright...you'll just put more money into your car, so that these kids will appreciate you -- so you hope.
Okay, back to the car. Now what you want to do is tint the windows. Tint the bastards really dark. You can do this at home: take out your windows (check on the tech req pages), get a can of black spray paint (the glittery kind if you're a fan of the c*ck), spray the windows inside and out. Pretty easy, huh? You can add to the "cool" look by placing the window into the track immediately and getting this "cool" streak pattern down the side. Believe me, all the girls love it.
Let's see, have we done anything needlessly to the bonnet? No? Well then partner, you need to go out and by a CF bonnet from http://screwmeover.com and put that sh*t on fast. Be sure that your car isn't painted to match the new bonnet. Speaking of which, you need to paint that mofo. Go to Maaco and have them screw up your color code...by choice. You want some tremendously insane yellow or green. Not like puke green, no. More like a neon, rainbow warrior green. He||, how about a rainbow. You can paint with all the colors of the wind.
I'm now thinking about a spoiler. You don't want anything that's integrated to the body. Wouldn't think so, but you're actually looking for one of those industrial looking, "doesn't provide any useful downward thrust because my car won't go that fast", brushed aluminum spoilers that you can put on yourself with some tape. You do have tape, don't you? So get the brushed aluminum and paint it blue. Sky blue. Think about he girls.
I bet you still haven't touched the grill. You need to pop out that playa'. Just kick it out. It's made of cheap plastic. Be careful not to hit the bumper...it's made of cheap plastic, too. Replace the whole assembly with chicken wire that will rust in a few weeks. Go to the junk yard, and find an Acura. Follow me? Right, so now you need to get the Acura emblem and...ready for this one...TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN! Can you believe this madness? It's mad cool. Some might even say, "Super Cool." Just slap that emblem on the chicken wire. I know, it makes no sense! That's why you have to do it. Really, you're doing it because some guy did it a long time ago as a joke. He's laughing at you, but his opinion doesn't matter. The opinions on this forum do.
Right, so we're done with the outside for now. Open the bonnet. Look at how that beauty contrasts with your rainbow warrior green. You don't know what any of that sh*t is in there, but you must replace all of it with aftermarket parts. No, all of it is fine, but you can't have the proper motorcar until you've exhausted your savings...and your parents and friends and loan sharks and what you've stolen and...etc. Chrome everything! You need to see yourself in every aspect of your car. God, you're pretty.
It's not enough. Buy a new intake/exhaust manifold, throttle body, colored belts, K&N filter, caps for the reservoirs, and a turbo. You gotta' have the turbo. Have someone else put that in. You're not smart enough. But you don't need brains. You've obviously got the bling*bling.
On to the interior: change out your seats for tri-colored racing harnesses, remove your rear-view mirror just to taunt the police, purchase center consoles that you'll have to paint since they didn't have your color in stock, buy stock in DVD players. You're getting 4 of them in your car. You need them blocking the air vents, in the headrests, etc. "But how can I hear the porn I'm going to play in there," you ask? Well, lonely man, you gotz to buy speakers and amps. You might think about buying a separate battery or two to run this system. When looking at speakers, forget about sound quality, you're going for quantity. Right? Who the he|| cares what you're playing, as long as it has bass and shakes that kidney stone right out of your body. I've been in cars that had such awesome bass...it was better than having kemotherapy.
The list goes on and on. If you want any more ideas, just keep posting on this forum. You'll get other great ideas like these. Remember: as long as it's rice, it's nice.
By the way, you're still white, and it's still a Civic.
Ready for some ground effects? Choose extremely gaudy ones that don't match anything on the car. It doesn't matter which ones; because, if you post pics of it here, almost everyone will bash it into the ground. No no, don't worry. They'll all put "IMO" so that you won't cry at your computer desk at work. Go ahead and cry when you get home. You'll come to the realization that no one loves you. Quite alright...you'll just put more money into your car, so that these kids will appreciate you -- so you hope.
Okay, back to the car. Now what you want to do is tint the windows. Tint the bastards really dark. You can do this at home: take out your windows (check on the tech req pages), get a can of black spray paint (the glittery kind if you're a fan of the c*ck), spray the windows inside and out. Pretty easy, huh? You can add to the "cool" look by placing the window into the track immediately and getting this "cool" streak pattern down the side. Believe me, all the girls love it.
Let's see, have we done anything needlessly to the bonnet? No? Well then partner, you need to go out and by a CF bonnet from http://screwmeover.com and put that sh*t on fast. Be sure that your car isn't painted to match the new bonnet. Speaking of which, you need to paint that mofo. Go to Maaco and have them screw up your color code...by choice. You want some tremendously insane yellow or green. Not like puke green, no. More like a neon, rainbow warrior green. He||, how about a rainbow. You can paint with all the colors of the wind.
I'm now thinking about a spoiler. You don't want anything that's integrated to the body. Wouldn't think so, but you're actually looking for one of those industrial looking, "doesn't provide any useful downward thrust because my car won't go that fast", brushed aluminum spoilers that you can put on yourself with some tape. You do have tape, don't you? So get the brushed aluminum and paint it blue. Sky blue. Think about he girls.
I bet you still haven't touched the grill. You need to pop out that playa'. Just kick it out. It's made of cheap plastic. Be careful not to hit the bumper...it's made of cheap plastic, too. Replace the whole assembly with chicken wire that will rust in a few weeks. Go to the junk yard, and find an Acura. Follow me? Right, so now you need to get the Acura emblem and...ready for this one...TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN! Can you believe this madness? It's mad cool. Some might even say, "Super Cool." Just slap that emblem on the chicken wire. I know, it makes no sense! That's why you have to do it. Really, you're doing it because some guy did it a long time ago as a joke. He's laughing at you, but his opinion doesn't matter. The opinions on this forum do.
Right, so we're done with the outside for now. Open the bonnet. Look at how that beauty contrasts with your rainbow warrior green. You don't know what any of that sh*t is in there, but you must replace all of it with aftermarket parts. No, all of it is fine, but you can't have the proper motorcar until you've exhausted your savings...and your parents and friends and loan sharks and what you've stolen and...etc. Chrome everything! You need to see yourself in every aspect of your car. God, you're pretty.
It's not enough. Buy a new intake/exhaust manifold, throttle body, colored belts, K&N filter, caps for the reservoirs, and a turbo. You gotta' have the turbo. Have someone else put that in. You're not smart enough. But you don't need brains. You've obviously got the bling*bling.
On to the interior: change out your seats for tri-colored racing harnesses, remove your rear-view mirror just to taunt the police, purchase center consoles that you'll have to paint since they didn't have your color in stock, buy stock in DVD players. You're getting 4 of them in your car. You need them blocking the air vents, in the headrests, etc. "But how can I hear the porn I'm going to play in there," you ask? Well, lonely man, you gotz to buy speakers and amps. You might think about buying a separate battery or two to run this system. When looking at speakers, forget about sound quality, you're going for quantity. Right? Who the he|| cares what you're playing, as long as it has bass and shakes that kidney stone right out of your body. I've been in cars that had such awesome bass...it was better than having kemotherapy.
The list goes on and on. If you want any more ideas, just keep posting on this forum. You'll get other great ideas like these. Remember: as long as it's rice, it's nice.
By the way, you're still white, and it's still a Civic.
02-02-2003 | 09:40 AM
#9
my bum is on the swedish!
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 10,133
Likes: 0
From: San Antonio, Texas
Re: First mods
Originally posted by Apocalyps
overkill :doh:
other than mispelling scene, it's not like he made an ass of himself. You on the other hand.....
Originally posted by 2002hondacivic
Hello all. I'm new to the import scene. I just got a 2002 Ex Civic. I looking for some ideas on what to do first. Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks in advance for you suggestions.
Hello all. I'm new to the import scene. I just got a 2002 Ex Civic. I looking for some ideas on what to do first. Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks in advance for you suggestions.
